One soul against many

I am fighting sleep on my own,
Against the army of remembrance,
In the land that does not belong to me,
But taunts and mocks my mistakes.
I am afraid and alone against many,
Thoughts provoked unforgiving,
Decisions decided and conclusions made,
I do not know is it worse to face the final bell,


Or remain in wake to contemplate?
Against the army of thoughts I stand,
As if the curtain falls on me,
By fear guided and by rage oriented,
I shall face it,
One soul against many…

Through the eyes of yesterday

“Scars have the strange power to remind us that our past is real.”
― Cormac McCarthy—

Can you feel the sand falling through my fingers,

The once solid turns to dust on one touch,

As the words echo of what has been,

Sins and thoughts long forgotten.

The very name sends tears running,

As their cheeks have not forgotten

The cold embrace of my comfort.

I saw and felt a thousand pains,

Wounds and scars they carry in my name,

Yet it is forbidden to usher,

Just like a soft whisper

it haunts the darkest corners of their minds.

But what they misunderstood,

It is hope that resides in my heart,

Watching their back turned,

Walking into the sunset…

A toast

“Yesterday’s dreams and smiles and drunken toasts are today’s ghosts.”
― Robert Black—

I raise a glass,

For the fallen brothers,

To the ones who even beaten and bloodied laid on the floor,

Smiled back to the world taunting is this the best it can do!

Your courage will be remembered!

I salute the lone wolfs,

Who even without a pack,

Teeth flashing and growling at their oppressors,

Always stood their ground.

Showing there is strength in self belief,

not just in unity.

Your fearlessness will inspire!

To the warriors,

Who carry their scars inside and out…

I bow…

For it is your power to hold on that gives me strength and your ruthlessness to keep on walking despite the heavy conjecture of the world…

As it is your prowess that shines eternal…

To the ones who withstand the constant storm of chaos…

You are not alone…

We are many who succumb bellow the pressure of dark thoughts and taunting of despair, there are many who walk side by side with sorrow from dawn to dusk… but we do not walk alone… for it is not the darkness of our being that enwraps us, but the night of the world…

And know below the midnight sky you do not stand alone…

I choose understanding

Close I listen to the incoming wind,

Whispering an ancient tale long forgotten.

It tells me to remember and find

The one thing lost, but remembered often.

The virtue human kind negates,

And with it guilt and sorrow

Deep buried in our hearts,

It patiently awaits.

I ask is it is love or kindness that it preach,

As all the good things came and went quick,

Light as soon it comes,

Sooner feels out of reach.

But the wind talks not of love nor light misplaced,

But rather a thing we shunned,

As if it wasn’t born, vanished out of trace…

Kindness for you with a price comes,

Love you give and take like coin transacts,

But a foundation of all life is neither of them,

It was understanding that was replaced by hate…

In rage I was born

Conceived at the back of my mind,

A thought arose

A small glimmer of what was.

With words heavy it weighed down,

All the good things that came around.

With doubt and questions settled,

When I couldn’t hold on to a happy thought

The undermining world meddled.

For some I was none,

To more I was less,

But to me I was gone.

So in that mind one thing remained,

In the pool of bad words detained,

In anger and rage a new mind born,

Trapped by myself and from the world scorn.

In your hands

Weightless floating

On the river of emotions

Carried by the current of your word

Knowing I hold no power

I let myself go

To your will and volition

Putting my faith in your choice

Shall I drown or end in your embrace

I do not know my fate

As long as your sweet whisper exists

My life in your hands belongs.

Confession / Realization

Shattering thoughts

coursing through my veins,

it is not the night ,

that brings horrors to my mind,

It is the day I am fearing,

As with new light,

My mistakes are shined,

Opened and bare,

I am naked in front of the world…

Crown

I repeat the words ushered,

In my head they echo,

Loud and angry,

The voices of my failures.

Heavy is the crown of sins,

That I wear,

By its burden I fall and rise today.

Judgment

For who do I need to be viable?

Who is that one that I am constantly compared to?

For all my life I hear I am not as good,

Even when I feel better,

There are always those who dare to say,

To their expectations I won’t live by.

But who lives this life?

Is it them or me,

Who every morning rises above their sins and demons,

Just to walk…

Understanding

On my bed floor,

holding my legs my head bowed down,

I cry for help but no one listens.

How can a man surrounded by so many,

Feel so alone,

So misunderstood?

Voices in vain,

As everyone pretends,

Many see it but no one understands.

A lone drifter,

Walking through the world of plenty,

I stand abandoned,

Each one has an opinion

With answers many,

But none mine.

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